To Change the Ugly Ways of a Fictitious Game World

    Last month, I picked the latest edition of an RPG I liked at the local game store. I would have ordered it through my own store, but my distributor doesn't carry the publisher.  With my pre-order discount and store credit, I got the book for twenty-five dollars off, otherwise I might not have purchased it.  Or I could have waited until this past weekend and purchased it at 40% as part of a pre-Halloween sale at the store. Whatever.  I wanted to see for myself if it was a bad, or good depending upon the social media feed, as I had been hearing.  Personally, I found the game lacking.  Not completely horrible, but not really memorable either.  Basically, mediocre.  I will be writing a review on the gaming forum I'm on later today.  Actually, I will be writing the first part of the first phase of my review process today.  See, I am thinking about writing multiple reviews based on different criteria to better relate the true impression of the game. Currently, I'm planning four reviews.  One, based entirely on the game itself divorced from any other outside influences.  Phase two will be comparing it to the other new games in this line.  The new games introduced some features that appeared to be highlights, and I wanted to see how well this game carried through.  Phase three will be a comparison to the previous editions, seeing how much was changed and how much was maintained.  This is where I'm expecting the rating to start going down.  Finally, phase four will be about how well the game stacks up with all of the 'issues' that have come out about its development since it was announced a year ago.  I didn't want to use 'controversies' so as not to show any unfair favoritism.  However, it is not looking too good.  These reviews would just be a prelude into my real goal--expressing my ideas about how to reconcile the current edition of the game with the older ones.  It could get pretty complicated, but by starting with this review process, I might be able to accomplish something I've been putting on the back-burner for quite some time. When I first discovered these games way back in the 90s during my 'bleak' years, it changed me.  I was able to re-invent myself.  Sure, I was still not able to actually play with others, but I found something that opened a new avenue for me.  At one point, I was seriously thinking about trying my hand in game design. Table top RPGs as opposed to computer games.  I do not have the programming knowledge to go that far.  I am a geek not a nerd, regardless of what others think of me.  In fact, as was very close into looking into how to work for the original company, when most of my game collection got destroyed in the 2003 flood, and the game company switched to a new business model soon after. I seriously thought about asking again once I felt comfortable with the new model. I even had an okay rough draft for a new game that I have mentioned a few times in earlier posts on this blogcast. Then the original company folded before I could accomplish anything more. I won't go into the messy details, but things eventually turned around with a new company founded by some of the people from the old place.  Unfortunately, the IP ended up with a video game company from Sweden who doesn't always have the same ideas on what to do with it as the older fans or the original creators.  Still, it might have been a great fit for me if I could have gotten into the business.  I almost certainly would not have become rich, but I might have been content.  I'm probably too old to think about that now.  Technically, I could still create a side project and make a few dollars under licensing agreements, but I just don't really have the self-publishing skills.  It just seems so daunting to me to try and come up with this all on my own.  At least I can share my ideas.  That's better than nothing.

Shadows Outside Your Window, Sort of Halloween

    It is a little under two weeks until Halloween, and I just don't feel or see it. Oh, sure, I see the decorations and candy everywhere, but there is not that much out there that is making me feel special about it.  So many homes and public displays are just using almost the exact same thing as they have done. I mean, when you see one house with a miniature inflatable Chucky, you see two more houses next door with the exact same thing.  I drive by the three neighbors every day.  It gets so predictable that it is no longer enjoyable.  There are a few other Chucky inflatables out there, but these three just irk me the most.  Other homes are going a little understated than their past attempts.  A house that had a full-sized skeleton climbing a pole, chasing a smaller skeleton and a dog skeleton on the top, now just has the bones sitting on the fence, with the largest one holding a black flower in its teeth.  Their crazed clowns are sitting along the fence as well, instead of randomly popping up around the yard.  The look is capped off with a pair of inflatable candy corns. Some homes still haven't decorated, after years of having great displays.  However, there are still a few new pieces that are grabbing my attention.  One home has a giant, inflatable killer clown, waving a giant hammer.  Another has a happy witch riding a crescent moon.  That one is rarely inflated.  The biggest display is still the same one as last year.  The place has a bunch of mannequins in costumes all over the yard, in multiple tableaux.  There are more crazy clowns, a trio of witches, a few blood-drenched nuns, a masked killer, and even a Harley Quinn, although that one seems to be currently missing.  There is still time for the stragglers to decorate, but I don't expect anything to elaborate from them in so little time.  My own decorating seems lackluster as well.  I don't feel comfortable leaving any decorations out at my place, so I decorate my store instead.  It is pretty much the same as last year's design.  Maybe a few things are in different places.  The main new item are two more small plastic 'stress-ball' brains that were in goodie bags in the past year, for a nice creepy three-part display.  I almost forgot to put out a small black cat head, but I remembered it from a dream. That actually happens to me quite a bit.  Another disappointment for this Halloween are the new treats.  That aren't that many.  Sure, there are a few new 'mystery' flavors of sodas, but I don't drink those brands, so that is a no-go for me.  Not really any new candies that I can find.  They might be out there, but they are either in brands/flavors I would never try or just not really out around here.  There is one new thing that came out recently that I would love to try, but they aren't Halloween-related.  It's Hostess's new 'Chocolate-Lover's Twinkies.'  They are chocolate Twinkies, but with a chocolate-creme filling instead of the regular one.  Now, there have been chocolate cake versions with the normal filling around for a few years now.  They used to come in two-packs, but you really only see them in boxes now, and not on a regular basis.  I did see them in a Halloween-theme box lately, though. I saw the new ones a few weeks ago, but I didn't buy them when I had the chance  They have been sold-out ever since.  I will get a box of them the next time I see them.  I don't know if I will like them, but they look very interesting.

Show Your World to Me, Yeah, in a Boy's Dream

     So, I finally decided to dip my toes into online dating.  I thought, "I've had my phone for over a year now, so I might as well use it for something more than Golf Clash and secondary authorizations." I won't mention where, so don't try to find me.  Besides, I am not sure if I set it up correctly anyway.  I would have asked for help, but I don't really know any people who would be using a dating app.  Most of them have been married for ten, fifteen, twenty, or more years.  Some are even grandparents, so even their children wouldn't be of help to me. This will come as a surprise, as I have never dated before.  Shocker, but I do believe I have mentioned it a few times here before.  Yeah, I've had crushes, but I never followed through on them.  In high school, I could never tell who was available or when, so I never seemed to have a chance.  The fact that they were dating guys I would consider friends made it even more difficult.  I didn't know about the 'bro code' back then, but it just didn't seem right to play my hand.  It was my senior year before anyone tried to help me out, but it was too late by then.  I was almost eighteen, so lower grades were entirely out of the equation.  There was also no one in my senior class I was truly interested in, who wasn't already in a fairly stable relationship. I bided my time until college, but nothing would come of it.  As I frequently mention, I hated the school I went to, so I tried not to make any sort of connection to anyone.  I probably wouldn't have been able to go out anyway.  I was staying at home and commuting, and my mother kept my on a very tight leash.  I wasn't even able to go back to school one night to participate in a mandatory assignment.  I had to do a make-up to compensate.  Once, I was about fifteen to twenty minutes late getting home.  I saw my mother pass me in my car as she had decided to go out to look for me.  Did I mention it was only 6 pm? In August? On a clear day? When I was thirty?!? There are parents of teenagers who wouldn't go out looking for their kids in such a situation.  Okay, they would probably have phones on them, but you get the idea.  Basically speaking, the only social situations that I am completely comfortable in would be academics and shopping.  I just haven't had the opportunity to go anywhere else.  I just wish I had someone to help me out.  I once had a copy of Dating for Dummies at my store, but it was sold before I had a chance to really read it.  [There are actually weirder 'Dummies' books than this.  You might want to see what's available.] My real problem is that I think I probably have waited way too long to start looking.  You see, I've always wanted children, as in more than one.  I was always so lonely as a child, so I would like at least two so that my kids wouldn't suffer the way I did.  As most women in my age group either don't or can't have children, this means I'll be looking for women younger than me, by at least fifteen years.  Not really best scenario, as such an age difference isn't really looked well upon.  Also, I have become pretty set in my ways.  If I had found someone in my twenties, like most people, there would have been some room to change and adapt.  I'm practically a curmudgeon in my ways, albeit somewhat immature, but I still won't change much. Everything just keeps coming back to the fact that I am so old, I feel that I missed my chance. I was just waiting until it felt like the right time, when I had a good start at a career, you know.  Now, that time may have slipped away, never to come back. I hope that I am wrong.  So many doubts.  I may be way over my head this time.  We shall see.

Take These Chances and Place Them outside the Box

    I've done something recently that I almost, kind of regret.  See, earlier this year, I decided to write a letter to someone to show my appreciation of them, after they had a bit of bad news.  I started it, but the letter began to evolve into something else.  I kept adding things, and people, to the letter.  I managed to keep it short enough, but it was still a little unwieldy.  I had to start and stop on it a number of times, as my ideas kept changing and growing.  I had to add a little extra information, as two of the people involved had never met before.  I kept putting off actually sending it, as it never seemed to be the correct time.  I took a month off, rewrote a few things, and put it off again.  Last month, things finally changed.  I was getting frustrated from losing so much in one of my games.  I got so mad, I finally sent off the messages to everyone to be included in my burgeoning network.  I had to revise a few final points first, as some things had since changed since I started this project.  I have yet to write a response to my messages.  I'm just too nervous and embarrassed about what I did. I don't even know if one person even received theirs, as I had to go through an intermediary.  I think I may have over-shared a few things, but I had to do it.  Admittedly, I may have gone on a tangent, so my intent got lost.  It is a bad habit of mine.  I can define a goal, actually see how to get there, but others only see an unnumbered connect-the-dots where I see a straight line.  I frequently have to go back in some games and puzzles just to make sure I didn't make a mistake and got to a point without finishing any of the points in between.  I sometimes just know the answer, without knowing how I got there.  My problem is that I am a creative, unconventional person, but others try to make me into something else.  For much of my school years, I felt that I had the label of a logical, analytical thinker.  That's technically not me.  Sure, I can work that way, but it is not always natural.  It is more like a round peg in a square hole situation.  It works, but it is not a tight fit. I was in college for I finally realized this fact.  I mean, I always felt I was a creative type, but few others would agree with me.  Even after I realized this, I kept falling into the trap of thinking I was more analytical.  That's one of the reasons why I've had a hard time trying to find a career.  I want to express myself, perform for an audience.  Instead, I get pegged for a desk jockey.  Who wants to file papers and work on files so much?  I'm not just an "outside-the-box" thinker; I ignore the box entirely.   At least, I try to when I get the chance.  While I'm not impulsive, exactly, some of the best decisions I ever made came when I trusted my gut or heart over my head.  My problem is that I don't know how to find something I want.  There's not that much of a market for someone who can craft a pretty good first draft of a sonnet in under a half-a-hour. My plan in college was to explore all of the different aspects of my creativity to find the one I liked the best, but I wound up in the wrong place without those opportunities.  That's one of the reasons for my recent missive.  Once I get the right people around me, maybe I can finally get my life back on track before it is too late, if I haven't already missed out on too much.  I really need to do my follow up.  I just feel like I messed up, and I want to take a long as possible before I see just how much I may have fouled up.

Fluffy

    Recently, a minor scandal erupted when Disney was thinking about censoring one of the cartoons they broadcast but not produce themselves, Bluey.  Yes, I know I'm nowhere near the target demographic, but I'm immature for my age. For those who don't know, Bluey is about a six/seven-year-old dog in Australia, her five-year-old sister Bingo, her Mum Chilli, and her Dad Bandit. She has very imaginative adventures involving her family and friends.  They can get somewhat surreal, very deeply emotional, or downright silly.  This 'controversy' erupted due to the nature of the episode's plot, which is fairly silly.  'Family Meeting' opens up with Bluey, Bingo, and Dad having a discussion in the kitchen about what Dad did earlier when Bluey was in her parents' bedroom.  Dad apparently had a 'fluffy' directly in Bluey's face.  He denies it. Mum comes in a declares a family meeting to find out the truth.  She returns with rollers in her 'hair,' reminiscent of judges' wigs.  Before the trial, she declares that the bodily function only be called a 'fluffy,' with 'fluffied' and 'fluffed' as acceptable past tenses.  Bluey goes first and recreates the scene with her toys, with a skunk representing her smelly Dad. Dad immediately says that he would never do such a thing, yet a flashback when Bingo pulled his finger proves him wrong.  Next, Bluey goes over the food he ate the previous day, raising a hand-made "Fluffy-meter" to its highest level.  Bingo is the next witness, and she claims she was there and saw it all happen.  Dad declares she wasn't there.  Bluey had bribed her with a lollipop, and Mum advises Bluey about how the truth will set her free.  Bingo's evidence is discarded.  Then, Dad announces a surprise witness, Mum!  She admits she was dozing, but the only thing she heard was Dad moving the bedside table like he frequently does when his tablet falls off from charging overnight.  She imitates the sound she heard.  It was the 'fluffy!'  Dad calls another surprise witness, a non-existent man, as a distraction, and he then flees.  Bluey and Bingo ran after their Dad and caught him in the front yard.  They tie him up in a jumprope and return him to the trial.  Before Mum passes her sentence, she asks Dad if there was anything he'd like to say.  His response, "He who smelt it, dealt it." He then explains away the accident 'fluffy' in his daughter's face as being due to the fact that her face is at the same height as his bum.  Bingo starkly declares that it could have been her, as she is slightly shorter and would have been worse off.  Mum sentences Dad to an hour of horsey rides for both Bluey and Bingo.  The younger sister runs off to prepare, while Mum tells Bluey about how the truth prevailed.  Dad then tells Bluey that the truth will come out.  Bluey then admits that she was only in her parents' bedroom to play on her Dad's tablet, something she wasn't supposed to due until the weekend.  Mum then sentences Bluey to play horsey for Bingo for an hour as well.  Mum noisily backs her chair out from the table and tries to shoo Bluey and Dad out of the room.  The two start to smell something, and they realize that Mum had made a 'fluffy' too!  The episode ends on that note.  From what I could tell, nothing was really altered about this episode's US broadcast.  However, my Bluey viewing habits have greatly multiplied since I first noted the episode, especially since I have no young children in my life. I watch way too many cartoons, both those intended for children and this for an older audience.  Oh well.

The Memory Remains, Except for Sometimes on Facebook

    I have written over 370 posts for this blog, plus hundreds more on two other blogs. One of those is pretty much defunct while the other is currently on a months long hiatus.  I also have dozens of videos on my YouTube channel.  Whenever I post something on here or YouTube, I link it to my Facebook account so that my friends can see them without having to leave one social media platform for another.  However, all of these hundreds of links don't show up on my Facebook memories.  Now, with so many posts, I should have a memory most of them for many days. Yet I don't.  The videos I cross-post on my store's Facebook page usually come up in my memories, yet not those on my personal page.  What's worse is that I frequently can't share those videos to my main page for some reason.  So many things that I would like to re-post and remember, but I can't.  I remember that some of the posts I see from others mention this same problem.  Things posted directly to Facebook or shared from another Facebook location don't have this problem.  Neither do those posted from some third-party sites.  Other posts that have links usually have problems, especially those to Google sites.  Well, this week marks a change in trying to outwit the Facebook algorithms.  Today's blogcast post will be double linked onto my page.  Not only will I be using my usual post with a link, but I will also be doing a second post.  This second post will have the link to my blog in the comments and not in the main body of the post.  Sure, it will take a year to see if this trick will work, but it should be worth it.  I just hope to remember to do all of this additional posting every week.  It will take awhile before I get the hang of it.  Why, I almost forgot to write a post this week at all!  Yeah, that is why this post is so short as well as over an hour late.  My bad. See you next week.

Just Because You're Paranoid, It Doesn't Mean You're Wrong

    I've been waiting on the latest edition of a game I really like for a few weeks now.  I ordered it months ago, but it officially came out on August 30.  The store where I ordered it from hasn't gotten it yet, and it might not ever.  It has had problems getting some of the niche products that I like.  I would ordered it directly through my store, but the publisher doesn't use my distributor any more.  I could order directly from the publisher instead, but I would prefer not to, as that would be way more expensive.  Also, if I don't like it, I got possibly return it if I go through other channels.  And as of right now, based on everything I've read, I probably won't like it.  When the new edition was formally announced last fall, controversy has surrounded it.  Soon after the first statement was made, one of the designers mentioned in an interview that the new edition would not be a direct continuation of the game.  This fact, along with some of the other changes first announced, brought the fan community into a frenzy.  Many long-time fans hated these decisions, especially when compared to other games that this company had updated.  While calls for open-mindedness prevailed, many people on some of the social media platforms I visit were having major doubts.  These doubts began to increase with the first previews earlier this year.  The artist had traced the image of a well-known activist who does not like his image and tattoos reproduced.  The art was reportedly changed, but further previews had more traced art of people in the public eye.  While this is an accepted technique, to some degree, the art director should have been alerted about possible problems.  Maybe the previews came out before final authorization was finished.  Maybe it was a lax editing process.  Maybe it was all a publicity stunt to grab attention. I believe any of this is possible.  The art previews did stop, though.  Rules previews were next.  One of the designers for an earlier stage of development noted that the rules preview seemed to be lifted directly from their design. (The final version of the game was the third development pass-through.  The first two ended in bad faith.) Fans were wondered if the writer would be credited.  Again, there were possible explanations. Maybe there was no other simpler way to present the information. Maybe the final version would have a different version written up.  Maybe management just didn't care who they were angering.  Then, with just a few weeks left before the debut, one of the designers for an early iteration for the new edition posted an interview about the horrible working conditions he was put through, specifically by one manager whose heavy-handed interpretation of how the game would be like may have been the cause for the first two iterations of the new edition to be scraped.  Well, many older fans were immediately thrown off for the new edition, at least on the sites that I frequent.  When the game finally came out, they dissected the changes very critically.  The overall opinion was that the new changes weakened the game and made it less appealing for most players.  The game basically forced the player into a certain game style that was never a predominant position in previous editions.  Most of the vitriol was directed at management, whose ideas for favoring this style of gameplay through each of the lines of games in the new editions of this world were turning away many of the game's older fans.  While many of the positive changes were praised, frankly because certain parts of the game hadn't aged well and needed updating, many of these fans were considering either skipping the new edition or using a lot of adaptations to get it to work.  A few were trying to work with the new edition and were not hated for it.  Attacks on the designers were mostly discouraged, as many felt that they were only doing what they were asked to do to get the game to work.  Other platforms weren't so encouraging.  Older fans were noticing how their views were being shut out on other sites, claiming that they were showing extremist views, even when they were just dissecting changes. I even looked into one such group of new edition fans myself.  They were showing such hatred against older fans, claiming they were fascist for hating the changes, particularly one change.  And this was just as the early PDFs of the new edition was coming out.  Even after more people got the new book and a more nuanced and balanced opinion came out, the hatred aimed at older fans was still vicious.  I noted that some of the posters in this group seemed connected to the gaming industry.  I don't know if they were connected to the game's publisher or not, but it was a red flag.  A few of the most vehement fans of the new edition appeared to have joined the platform just so they could support the game.  Either that or they managed to keep almost everything else about themselves private, including information that is usually kept public.  Maybe they just skipped some parts of their profiles. Or they might not be entirely 'real.'  I don't know, but their profile gave off the same vibe as the friend requests I used to get from women from foreign countries whose posts were mostly photos of them barely dressed. Or less, as one was a full frontal shot that probably was against policy standards.  Anyway, I am not sure what is going on.  Maybe I'm just spotting a conspiracy where there is none.  Or, maybe the game publisher is running a long-range publicity campaign to boost the appearance of their new product, when they know it might not be a good as they think it is.  I can almost believe anything after all of the mixed messages I've seen over the past few months.