But You're Not Gonna Reach My Telephones

    This time last year, I didn't own a single smart phone.  I currently have two, plus I am the primary caretaker for my mother's.  How did this happen?  I'm still unsure.  First, the background.  When cell phones first came out, I had no use for them.  I didn't have anyone to call.  I rarely went anywhere on my own, so I didn't have any need to alert someone if I was having problems.  Even when the first PDAs and smart phones came out, I was intrigued, but not enough to actually buy one.  I mean, why waste so much money on something I really didn't need.  Even when the technology improved, including features that tickled my fancy, I stayed away.  I barely even looked at the various books and manuals that came out that would come through my store. In fact, I would wind up getting my MacBook well before I would have a smart phone in my possession.  This would change when my mother got appointed to a local utility board. For some reason, it was decided that the members would need official phones so they could more easily stay in touch.  So, when my mother received her phone, it was going to be me to find out how it worked.  Fortunately, it was an SE model iPhone, so I already knew many of the basics of Apple software.  The particulars of an iPhone were still beyond me.  I would up downloading the manual onto my computer just to get many of the basics down, while my mother checked a book out of the library, possibly on a different model.  I mean, why buy anything for something that technically isn't yours.  My mother was just going to use it for calling about board business anyway.  Well, we wound up using the camera to take pictures of animals we saw while driving or the latest holiday decorations for the store, but not much else.  I mean, I helped my mother make a emoji of herself on it, but that was the most involved with the phone she has ever gotten.  Well, things changed again last year, when my university made a notice that two factor authentication would be implemented for use of many sensitive portions of their online information, including classes.  I wasn't taking any last semester, but I was scheduled to take an exit exam.  While online graduate students like me weren't immediately effected by this change, my mother was freaking out, so much so that she demanded I get a phone as soon as possible.  Of course, I was going to get an iPhone just for the connectivity.  I looked around for a few weeks before choosing an outline and option that worked good enough.  I mentioned that story in a previous post last year.  I wound up not needing the phone until this semester, and I mentioned that story in a post a few weeks ago.  So, what about my second phone?  Last month, the board notified my mother that she would be getting a new phone.  She was also told that the old one was now hers to do with as she pleased.  She could've sold it, but she probably wouldn't get that much for it.  So, I am now keeping it.  The current plan is to use it for one of my gaming accounts once the game departs Facebook.  Sure, the old phone doesn't have a cellular plan connected with it, at the moment, but it should still work with wifi connections.  If that doesn't work, I might have to borrow my mother's phone so that I can keep both accounts going without having to switch them back and forth on the same phone and risk losing one.  Her phone is the previous year's model to mine, so there shouldn't be any problems with that part.  I also bought a book and a manual for my phone, as the former is helping me get better acquainted with the regular features while the latter is for the latest iOS updates.  In fact, I'm still learning some new things about my phone.  For instance, there appears to be a way to connect a mouse via Bluetooth to my phone so I can play my game the way I would like to.  I haven't made it work yet, but if it does, this would make playing my game less frustrating.  I should add that playing Golf Clash with just swiping the screen isn't too hard, I still like my mouse.  And no, I still barely use my phone for calling.  Mostly, it has just been calls to an out-of-state supplier.  My phone has a better long distance plan than my store's landline. I just don't have anyone else I need to call out of the blue.

This Is What I Call Music, 2022 Edition

    It is an annual tradition for me to create a puzzle based on some of the top songs of the previous year.  I've been doing these puzzles for a few years now. The first batch of puzzles, which included versions for other media, have links with NSFW links.  Fun times. I stick to music, mostly, now, with less risqué links. Basically, I take a song title and change the words, and then I have my viewers guess the correct title.  For example, if you saw "Preserve and Store That One's Lacrimal Fluids," the answer would be "Save Your Tears" by The Weeknd with Ariana Grande, the number two song for 2021 and the number forty song for 2022.   This year continues a trend with various problems.  For instance, many songs, such as "Tears," are repeated from the previous year.  Also, there is a preponderance of one-, two-, and three-word titles.  Shorter titles such as these are harder to rework.  A few songs from last year had letters in their titles, and they are not easily changeable.  Not to mention I sometimes can't figure out exactly what they mean.  (What is "P" and how does one 'push' it?) Finally, slang terms and foreign words are quite popular as well.  For the former, I might not know what they stand for.  The latter, there really isn't any fun in directly translating a word, if I'm able to do it at all.  Still, I have managed to come up with more than enough for this puzzle.  As a hint, the titles are are roughly arranged in their end-of-year order.  The answers are found at the bottom of the page.

1. Periods of Intense Above Average Temperatures
2. High-end Flight Seating
3. Extremely Large Power Stores
4. Low Temperature Cardiac Muscle
5. Multiple Occurrences of Inappropriate Behavior
6. Entirely Used Up for the Convenience of That Person
7. Quickly Perambulating Vertically on One Particular Prominence (Supreme Deity-Approved Contract)
8. The Entirety of the Madrigal Family Refuses to Mention Their Eldest Extant Male Relation, the One with Ocular Ability
9. Conversation Occurring During Nocturnal Hours, Particularly Well after Twelve
10. Singular Occurrence of Inappropriate Behavior
11. Desensitized Minuscule Insect Arthropod
12. Destroy This One's Spiritual Component
13. Vodka, Lime Juice, and Ginger Beer Cocktail
14. That Person There Is Entirely Correct in Their Assumption
15. Granular Particulates Entered This One's Western Footwear
16. Arrive Concurrently Where We Have a Mutual Admiration
17. Brachial Phalanges Were Counter-Manipulated
18. That Person's Best Interest Is to Vacate These Premises
19. Of a Not Exactly Saintly Nature
20. Round Meanderings outside the Limits of Our Municipality

ANSWERS

1. Heat Waves
2. First Class
3. Big Energy
4. Cold Heart
5. Bad Habits
6. Wasted on You
7. Running up That Hill (A Deal with God)
8. We Don't Talk about Bruno
9. Late Night Talking
10. Bad Habit
11. Numb Little Bug
12. Break My Soul
13. Moscow Mule
14. You Right
15. Sand in My Boots
16. Meet Me at Our Spot
17. Fingers Crossed
18. You Should Probably Leave
19. Unholy
20. Circles around This Town

Time for a Pop Quiz, Okay, Taste Test

    For some reason, this is the time of year that many new varieties of soft drinks debut on the market.  I don't see why, but I am glad to try out many of the new flavors.  Not all of them, because I usually don't try ned editions of Coke unless they seem to be really new.  And I don't have to buy an entire carton of the stuff.  This means I won't be trying the new limited edition Rosalia inspired flavor, as I have yet to find an individual bottle or can anywhere.  To be honest, I'm not too thrilled by the supposedly rosé flavored drink.  First off will be the strawberries and cream variety of Dr Pepper, because I am a lifelong Dr Pepper fan.  This new drink 'popped' up with very little fanfare.  So little in fact that I could barely find anything online about it on the very day I buy my first bottle! Usually, there would be something, but this new flavor came out of nowhere.  I tried it over ice, as that is my preferred drinking style.  The first sip was overwhelmingly strawberry, not subtle at all.  It was almost too much berry flavor.  The creaminess of the vanilla was more pronounced in the aftertaste.  This was true as I continued drinking, even after the first strawberry flavor began to wane.  The vanilla continued to be dominant even in the last few drops that were mostly water from the melting ice, long after the strawberry was lost.  I few days later, I tried a second bottle, because Dr Pepper.  This time, the strawberry flavor wasn't as strong on the first sip, but it was still the dominant flavor, with the vanilla being stronger in the aftertaste and in the last diluted last sips.  Now, years ago, Dr Pepper had two different tries at Berries and Cream flavors.  The first time was raspberry dominant with the second try a more evenly mixed berry taste.  I didn't like the former, and I don't remember the latter being available all that much.  Dr Pepper supposedly still has a Cherry Vanilla flavor (it was one of my all-time favorites), but I haven't seen it sold locally in over a decade.  Next, Pepsi brought back its Marshmallow Peep flavored drink.  It was originally an online-only exclusive, but this year it is available in stores.  I tried this one without ice, but mixed with a small amount of water instead.  Well, I can truthfully say that it tastes like Peeps.  Very, very much so.  Now, I find regular Pepsi to be fairly sweet.  This flavor was explosively so. However, it did mimic the flavor of Peeps perfectly.  I could barely finish my sample; it was that sweet.  [Before you ask, yes.  I know that there is an exclusive variety of Dr Pepper flavored marshmallow Peeps.  I have bought some, but I am waiting until it is closer to Easter before trying them.  Stay tuned.] I do not really recommend trying it.  Unless you are into extra-sweet drinks.  Finally, I tried Pepsi's new citrus drink, Starry.  It is replacing Pepsi's Sierra Mist, if you didn't already know.  At least there was news about this new drink online, as well as the Peep flavor.  I again had the drink on ice.  I usually don't drink that much citrus drinks.  I have the occasional 7-Up, but it is usually the cherry version.  On the first sip, I immediately realized what was different with Starry.  Instead of the usual lemon dominant lemon-lime drink, Starry is lime dominant.  It is a subtle difference, but I could taste it.  I as continued drinking, the flavor profile remained consistent.  Now, I could be wrong with the lime, but I can usually taste such subtle differences, even if I am not that familiar with lime.  It definitely wasn't mostly lemon.  I am still undecided if I want to try it again.  The drink wasn't bad; it just wasn't my main flavor choice.  Give me my cherry Dr Pepper any day.

I Can Name That Tune With One Emoji, 2022

Last year had some very memorable songs, but how many could you name from just using emojis?  Listed below are a number on songs from 2022 rendered as just characters.  Your task is to decipher them into actual song titles.  For example, if you saw this 🌸🌸🌸, your answer would be the current number song “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus. I’ve tried my best to put in as many as possible, but not every song title can be so easily changed.  Scroll down to get the answers.  Have fun!

1. 🔥🌊🌊
2. 🥶🥶
3. 👻
4. 🦸‍♂️👺
5. ❄️❤️
6. 🦹🏼
7. 🏭👶
8. 👱🏻‍♀️
9. 🏃‍♂️⬆️⛰️
10. ⌛️🌃🗣️
11. ☀️🔝🚗
12. 1️⃣➡️⏲️
13. 🇷🇺*️⃣🐎
14. 💰🌎
15. 🍁⬇️❤️
16. 🔪🗣️
17. 🪨➕💎🏙️
18. 🤞🏼
19. 🌼🏬🏬
20. ❌😇

ANSWERS

1. Heat Waves
2. Shivers
3. Ghost
4. Super Gremlin
5. Cold Heart
6. Enemy
7. Industry Baby
8. Woman
9. Running up That Hill
10. Late Night Talking
11. Sunroof
12. One Right Now
13. Moscow Mule
14. Buy Dirt
15. Fall in Love
16. Knife Talk
17. Rock and a Hard Place
18. Fingers Crossed
19. Flower Shops
20. Unholy

Might Be a Coward, I'm Afraid

    A few months ago, I mentioned how I just needed two more classes to finish graduate school and get my Masters.  However, that will not be happening this semester.  While that was what I was planning to do,  I ultimately had to withdraw from both of classes, but the lamest of reasons. Last fall, after I passed my exit exam, I registered for what should have been my final two classes.  I had three to chose from.  I passed on the December class on early twentieth-century American literature.  I believed I wouldn't have the time with the holiday season and all.  Turns out, I might have been able to do so after all.  Instead, I signed up for the two remaining classes being offered in the spring semester that I hadn't taken yet.  The first was a perspective class on some undefined period of American literature.  I knew nothing about what period was being covered.  I couldn't even get a hint, as the course had no books being offered.  The other was a course on Thomas Hardy.  There were five novels being covered, plus a major selection of his poetry.  In an effort to save money, I was going to just check the books out of the library.  Also, I managed to find the complete poetry selection for much cheaper than the near eighty dollar edition being offered.  The exact same material, though.  Well, about ten days before the semester was supposed to start, I received an email from my professor about the class, featuring the syllabus and calendar.  It looked like we would spend one week discussing a novel, and the next week we would be discussing the analysis and criticism about that novel, with the last weeks of class going over various collections of poetry.  Apparently, the editions the professor demanded included critical analysis, as well as the novel itself.  I sent the professor an email about how important it was to have those exact editions of the novels. I got a reply the Sunday a week before classes started.  Yes, I needed those versions, and only those versions.  The next day, Monday, I checked the local libraries again see which versions they had, but I already was sure they were not the same versions.  Fortunately, I own a bookstore.  I knew my distributor carried those exact versions.  I could just order them from it.  Unfortunately, only one of the books were in stock, and I don't think it was the one for the first week of class.  Also, it could take my distributor four to six weeks for them to get the books back in stock, well beyond the time I needed them.  Since this is basically the only national book distributor, online book stores might not have them either, not that I would purchase them through a competitor anyway, not without extreme duress.  This meant I would have to go through the university book store, basically a Barnes and Noble outlet.  I don't buy used, if I can help it, as one can't know exactly who had the book last.  I couldn't do rental either, as I had a hard time trying to return the last time I did that.  So, new it was.  I exclusively use a rechargeable card for online purchases; I haven't used it for anything else. Because it was just after the holidays, I knew I had enough money on it to pay for the books and the sales tax.  However, the shipping and handling costs wouldn't be known until I actually completed the sale.  The card provider had taken out a fee it shouldn't have, so I didn't think I had enough money on the card.  I had to wait until the next day to load for onto it, and then another day to make sure the transaction was successful.  Normally, such things were automatic, but I needed to be safe.  So, this put me to the Thursday before classes began. I had already determined that I could buy just the five books I needed, and not the eighty dollar one I didn't.  I went to finish the sale, when I was asked if I was picking the book up in person or if someone else would be doing it.  I somehow missed the delivery option.  I had to cancel the order and then wait until I was sure the servers were clear.  I tried again, later in the afternoon.  This time, I made sure it was delivery.  I was right about the handling charge, as I wouldn't have had enough money on the card for even the lowest possibility, five to seven days, although it would probably be less since the store was fairly close to the school.  I went to fill out the rest of the form and clicked confirm.  The card was declined.  I tried things a little differently, but I couldn't figure out what was wrong.  By then, it was time to close the store and go home.  I tried one last time that night, but I couldn't finish the sale. I would have to call them the next morning, from the store, and ask them what I needed to do.  This would mean that the books might not be sent out until that evening, or possibly the next business day, which would be the following Tuesday due to the Martin Luther King Junior holiday.  This would mean I might not get the books until well after I needed to start reading them.  I made a hard choice, but I dropped the class that night.  I couldn't risk falling behind due to a late delivery.  I didn't really want to read such depressing books anyway. After a fraught weekend of having to activate my multi-factor authentication, without warning over a three day weekend. a finally got word on my other class, on the first day of work. Turns out, the class was about American drama from between the two World Wars.  I had heard of only a few of the plays, one from the movie version, and maybe two of the writers.  When I went to put up my bio for the class, I noticed that the others were younger than me, and English teachers for grade and/or high school getting their certifications, so I had little in common with them.  I also saw on the syllabus and calendar, unedited from when the class was last taught two years ago, that there would be two major assignments.  The first shorter one, ten pages (!), would be a peer reviewed conference paper,  That's when I realized that this was the same professor I had a few years ago who had me write the same thing, and I almost was just barely able to finish it.  The second, longer assignment would be a fifteen page seminar paper of the type that would appear for a literary journal. I had no intention of being in a position to write such things.  In fact, I was starting to doubt why I was going after my Masters in the first place.  I was never going to teach children.  I probably wouldn't get a job at the collegiate level unless I went after my Doctorate, which would be difficult at my age.  That's why I wanted an MFA instead, so I could write while using teaching as my money-maker, without the fuss of too much academic stuff.  I was worrying so, I had trouble falling asleep that night.  I contacted the class, mentioning my problems.  I looked up the synopses of the plays.  Mostly, they were about a person trying to get ahead in life, but the only way that was possible was in the death of someone.  I looked for physical copies of the plays at the local libraries, so I wouldn't have to read everything online, but one only had two, as well as analyses on a few more, and a second library just had one play and nothing else.  My professor probably would've wanted more recent material anyway, if I could find anything through the school's online database.  I am just not that proficient with such things.  Give me books any day over such craziness.  I fretted a few more days before dropping that class as well, without ever checking back with the rest of the students or the professor.  I was just too embarrassed.  I could've done the work, but it just didn't feel right for me, as this class was taking me in a direction I wasn't planning to go.  Maybe I was wrong for dropping these classes.  Maybe I was wrong in ever trying to get my Masters so long after I graduated.  I just wish I cold actually talk to someone.  Not email, message, or phone, but actually talk face-to-face to help me out.  I thought I knew what I wanted, but I just can't seem to figure out how to get there any more.  That is the impression that I get, anyway.

Just Let the Kids, er Man, Play

    I don't play as many games online that I used to, and only two of those games are actually competitive against others.  One of them, SongPop Classic, has become very successful for me lately.  After just one week, I am already past halfway on the monthly challenge path, having already finished most of the daily challenges, all of the weekly challenges for the first week, and even the expert challenge for the period. I haven't been as successful on my other competitive game these last few weeks, Golf Clash, but not for the same reasons.  About three weeks ago, the game vanished from my Facebook page where I exclusively play it.  I noticed that another game vanished as well, but later on in the day.  That game was back the following day, but Golf Clash was nowhere to be found.  I searched on various social media sites for information, and it appeared that the game was completely taken off Facebook everywhere.  Not only that, but many players who didn't play on Facebook were experiencing other problems as well.  After two days, and missing the opening round of a tournament, the game's publishers finally updated everyone that there were problems, but they did not comment on what the problems actually were.  Rumors were rampant on social media, but nothing was confirmed although a consensus was growing.  The main reason seemed to be that Facebook changed some of their guidelines, and my game no longer met them.  Other effected games either made fixes faster or had greater difficulties.  Players who weren't seriously effected by the lockout berated those who were non-stop, basically blaming them for not securing their accounts by multiple ways or from not playing on mobile devices like they were.  The hatred was intense.  It was only after five days that the publisher confirmed the rumors were true and that they were still working on the issue, this after a major tournament had ended.  It was at this time that I finally caved in and decided to finally recover my account on my phone.  Well, it turned out that while I had started the process, I never did complete the recovery security set-up.  My account was still locked out, but I had a new account set up.  It didn't allow me to contact the other players in my group.  It didn't allow me access to the improved gear and resources I had accrued.  It didn't allow me to play in all of the special events that were going on. However, I now could see the special deals that phone players had had for a few months, if I just downloaded games, took surveys, or made online purchases.  I just stayed with looking at ads.  After twelve days, the friend who got me started on the game finally contacted me to see why I hadn't been playing.  I described the problems with the lockout.  He offered to help, but there really wasn't anything he could do.  Meanwhile, the publishers finally came out with a third statement mentioned that they were close to fixing the problems, as well as that they would be offering compensation to the affected players.  The hatred between affected and unaffected players began to bubble up even higher, as the two groups complained about each others playing styles. Apparently, the second tournament during the lockout may have seen a sharp drop off in performance, as the overall lack of players became noticeable.  Then, last Tuesday, while I was checking on social media, someone mentioned while they were trolling another poster that the game had came back.  I quickly checked, and the game had indeed returned.  It turned out that not that most of the players in my group had any problems other than no pictures in their profiles turned the lockout.  I explained my absence and was able to start playing again that night.  I also made sure to secure my account a second way. A day or so later, I received my compensation.  I got all of the resources I used for the tournament I missed out on back.  I would be getting a free run for the next season of challenges.  I also received about half of the amount of resource I would have gotten for free if I hadn't been locked out.  Whatever on that one.  I was actually able to do well on the past weekend's tournament, as well as playing quite good the past week.  Then, the next shoe dropped yesterday.  The publisher announced that they would be pulling Golf Clash from Facebook in April.  Now, I prefer to play on the three-times bigger screen of my MacBook with a mouse than on a phone.  I've tried to ask my teammates about how to get two accounts on the same device, as well as how to run an emulator so I'll be able to play my own way, but I have had no luck so far.  There are even rumors that the game will be taken down completely later on this year, as the company behind the publisher has a new golf game of their own that they might want the focus to be on instead.  That company has already cancelled a few games this year, so the rumor might have a little truth to it. So, in two months time, I'll be playing still.  Maybe not as well as I used to, but I'll at least have something.

Pop Until You Drop, Part Four

    This is the last one of these, I swear.  One of the main reasons why I hate Chris's friends reveal their secrets was to allow Chris to break his father's word and tell Sam everything.  These secrets were the impetus for the entire book, so I needed a way to get them across.  First, I revealed more about how Jonathan's mother and siblings died, at the manor basically.  Morbid, I know, but it reveals a lot about Chris's grandfather's nature.  It set up the secret about how Jonathan get into college, as well as his job there.  I admit, I only added that part after scandals broke out involving celebrities getting their children into college.  It was a rather late add, but suited both the characters and the overall plot of the book.  The main secret I wanted to reveal was about Jonathan's wife, basically Sam's 'mother.'  I hinted in the first book that her character wasn't too great, and I upped the ante in this one.  I always planned on her being sort of a gold digger, but making her a major reason why Chris was never found until he was an adult was the last straw.  I wanted some ambiguity if she really was trying to take money from Jonathan, at least so that Sam wouldn't be feeling too bad towards her.  Now, I didn't spill all of the secrets involving the Burton family.  There are few more left.  That's right.  There is going to be one more book in this series to finish off the story of Chris and Sam.  There was just too much more information left to write.  This is the reason why I ended the story before the wedding.  I knew there would be more to relate.  I am still in the framing portion, but I have the main beats laid out.  I just have to figure out the best way to connect them all together.  I don't want to spoil too much, but I can give out a few details.  First, the title will be connected to both art and fatherhood, again.  I'm not sure how, yet, but it will focus on modern art of the early twenty-first century.  Second, the action will take place four years later, yet again in late May/early June.  Sam will have just graduated college by then, and he is getting ready to get onto the US team for international competition in swimming.  Chris will still be married to Addie, with one child and a second one on the way.  Third, while most of the scenes will take place in New York and Lexington, there will be a major scene taking place in a new location in a different state.  There will also be some chapters set in Chris's hometown, as it were.  Yes, we will finally get to meet Chris's mother and find out exactly why their relationship is so choppy.  Fourth, as mentioned above, I have a few more secrets about the Burton family.  Early in the book, Chris finds something that puzzles him, and he goes through the entire book wondering what it is he found, if it is anything at all.  It might be nothing, but it might turn into something else entirely.  Fifth, Chris's friends won't be seen, but I will flesh out the futures I mentioned in the blogcast and include them.  In fact, Chris will only have one friend in the entire book to talk to, and he will be someone unexpected.  It turns out that there are plenty of secrets going around, and Chris will have to navigate carefully before any of them blow up in his face.  I probably won't start this book for a few more months.  Maybe not even until next year, but that just will give me more time to plan.  See you then.