School's in for Autumn

Well, I did it.  I was accepted in an online MA English program at Morehead State Graduate School.  It will either be the first step in correcting over twenty years of mistakes and missteps, or another huge failure for me.  Frankly, I am scared bleepless (yes, I do swear and use four-letter words where appropriate, but never in front of a mixed audience such as this).  I know next to nothing about how classes are done online, much less how much may have changed in my field in all this time.  Sure, I have tried to stay in the know, but not being there hasn't helped me much.  I will be on a 'conditional status' which means I will be limited in just all I can do and how many classes I can take, until I pass my GRE or prove I am worthy by getting a very high GPA on my classes (the actual GPA is being changed for the new semester right now, so the actual minimum is in doubt).  I will have to finally get a computer, after putting it off for so long.  At least I won't have to use the ones in public libraries anymore.  I am about halfway through the acceptance and admission process.  At this second, I am getting ready to email my academic advisor for suggestions on what classes to take.  I am bad at email, since I don't do it that often.  I would have preferred a face-to-face meeting, but you can't have everything.  I would have preferred actual classes, too, but those pesky letters of recommendation were holding me back.  I must admit, if I get the opportunity, I will try to transfer.  Maybe.   I hate the thought of abandoning the place where I start, but if I am not taking too well to the format, I might have to.  I will also have to find a way to pay for everything, and I will be checking that out as well.  I just hope I am doing the right thing.  In my heart, I know I am.  Yet, there is this doubt that has been clinging to me for so long that I am not good enough.  It comes from not having anyone around me for support.  So many times, I let others dictate my path, even when I knew it to be wrong.  I can't allow myself to falter anymore.  I am too old to let life keep passing me by.  I have missed so much, and I want it back.