School's in for Autumn

Well, I did it.  I was accepted in an online MA English program at Morehead State Graduate School.  It will either be the first step in correcting over twenty years of mistakes and missteps, or another huge failure for me.  Frankly, I am scared bleepless (yes, I do swear and use four-letter words where appropriate, but never in front of a mixed audience such as this).  I know next to nothing about how classes are done online, much less how much may have changed in my field in all this time.  Sure, I have tried to stay in the know, but not being there hasn't helped me much.  I will be on a 'conditional status' which means I will be limited in just all I can do and how many classes I can take, until I pass my GRE or prove I am worthy by getting a very high GPA on my classes (the actual GPA is being changed for the new semester right now, so the actual minimum is in doubt).  I will have to finally get a computer, after putting it off for so long.  At least I won't have to use the ones in public libraries anymore.  I am about halfway through the acceptance and admission process.  At this second, I am getting ready to email my academic advisor for suggestions on what classes to take.  I am bad at email, since I don't do it that often.  I would have preferred a face-to-face meeting, but you can't have everything.  I would have preferred actual classes, too, but those pesky letters of recommendation were holding me back.  I must admit, if I get the opportunity, I will try to transfer.  Maybe.   I hate the thought of abandoning the place where I start, but if I am not taking too well to the format, I might have to.  I will also have to find a way to pay for everything, and I will be checking that out as well.  I just hope I am doing the right thing.  In my heart, I know I am.  Yet, there is this doubt that has been clinging to me for so long that I am not good enough.  It comes from not having anyone around me for support.  So many times, I let others dictate my path, even when I knew it to be wrong.  I can't allow myself to falter anymore.  I am too old to let life keep passing me by.  I have missed so much, and I want it back.

The LinkedIn Memorial

I am not sure how I got started on the LinkedIn social media platform.  I had been on Facebook for just a few months, and I was still trying to find people.  I guess I was using LinkedIn as a secondary source for information to find people.  When I first started out, I literally did not know what I was doing.  For my other forays onto social media, I had guides.  Not so that time around.  The only one I have, I got months after the fact, and it was already partially out-of-date when I read it. So, I did the best that I could.  I randomly threw in information, including a statement, that while accurate, did not really say anything about my needs or future goals.  I didn't even put up a picture for a few months.  I made mistakes everywhere.  I accidentally clicked onto some contacts that really didn't suit my needs.  I also accidentally dismissed others who I did want as contacts.  I got confused over some of the techniques.  I know I should have done better, but I really didn't have much of a clue over what I was doing.  About the same time I added my picture to my profile, I finally realized what my ultimate career goal should be, becoming a professional writer with a primary/backup goal of teaching at the collegiate level, just in case if I had problems getting published.  I know I am somewhat old to be figuring out my career plan, but I had a lot of problems of the decades, and I am only now  getting back on track.   I started to curate my profile.  I got rid of contacts that didn't seem to have a direct bearing on my future career.  I would include an example, but I have totally forgotten anything about them.  I cleaned up my statement, emphasizing my future plans.  Particularly, I tried to get people who could recommend me for graduate school.  It seems silly when I write that, but as a self-employed unintentional loner, I don't have a large social circle to draw on directly.  Using outside sources seemed like a given.  Recently, I even managed to contact some of the people that I wanted to find when I first signed up.  I have even been the target for some searches.  I am not sure if I really have the experience, or even the interest, for those who did the searching, but at least I am out there, in a fashion.  Really, when you consider how the majority of my work experience has been as my own boss, I am lucky I know as much as I do about working.  Actually getting noticed there has been a great experience for me, after all the setbacks I have had to face.  I might even be able to be hired soon, which is great.

Weight for Me

I really can't explain how I got into weightlifting.  When I was a kid, I really wasn't athletic.  I didn't have a father around to push me into sports and such, only a 'strict' grandmother and an overprotective mother.  The only chance I had to get into such things would have been at school, but I was always uncomfortable around the other boys because I was on the small side and wasn't as good at such things.  I even somehow managed to finagle a way so I wouldn't have to change clothes for P.E. in high school, I was so uncomfortable.  It wasn't until the mid-90's that things changed.  I was kind of depressed.  My plans for school weren't working out, I couldn't get a job, and I hadn't had contact with any friends in years.  I started worrying about my health, and everything else.  I needed to try and change my life.  I took up new interests, one of them being weightlifting.  I felt that it would be a way to make my feel more like an adult as well as more masculine.  So, I asked for a weight set for Christmas.  Not only did my mother wait one month until my birthday to get it, but she ordered the wrong package.  Instead of a standard set with a barbell and multiple plates, she got me a smaller dumbbell set instead, with fewer and lighter plates.  On second thought, this was almost a good idea.  When I tried my first routine, which a got from a magazine, I adapted it to use lighter weights (about half of the twenty and ten pounds suggested).  I could barely do it, at least it felt that way.  The next day, I was so sore from never using my muscles before, I barely wanted to try it ever again.  I did try it a few days later, and I kept at it.  It would be weeks before I felt confident enough to try my routine at the base weights, but I ultimately got there.  I began incorporating more exercises.  I finally got a standard weight set, with a barbell, so I could finally go heavier and add a better selection of exercises.  I though about joining a gym, but I still felt uncomfortable around other guys like that (I try not to even use public restrooms, if I can help it;  I really need to trust someone to be in a such situations).  Since I wasn't working yet, I could exercise on a regular schedule.  Once I opened my store, it was harder to do so.  I tried working out in the mornings, but I was never able to get enough energy.  After work, I just don't have enough time, most nights.  I have resorted to doing some body weight moves, whenever the store is empty, which is rather too frequent.  I mostly only have the weekends and holidays, which is not enough time.  I been in a plateau for awhile now.  At my best, I am able to do a 100lb unilateral dumbbell bench press, with fairly good form and self-spotting, for at least eight reps; and a 120lb weight with mostly good form for at least two reps, although I haven't hit that mark for a few weeks.  I have similar results in unilateral dumbbell versions of the row, shrug, squat, and the deadlift.  For smaller muscle groups, I can do a unilateral overhead dumbbell shoulder press at 50lbs for eight or more reps with fairly good form and self-spotting; and at 60lbs for more than two reps.  I have similar results with the unilateral dumbbell versions of the triceps kickback and the hammer curl.  I could use more training and help, but I am happy with how I look and feel.  Some of my muscles show, and are even have popping veins, but none are really huge.  I just can't eat enough, even with protein shakes and other supplements.  My glutes are the real problem.  They still are flat, even after all these years.  I can barely wear jeans so that I look good in them.  At least my pants are mostly loose at the waist and my shirts are getting too tight in the shoulders, so I have got something.  I really need to join a gym to get the most out of my workouts, though.  Stay fit, everyone.

These Might Not Be a Few of My Favorite Things

Although I don't publicize it much, this isn't my only blog.  I have THW's Booknotes Blog, my somewhat professional blog about my book store, Booknotes.  I also have The T. H. Weingarten Miscellany, my literary blog showcasing my works in progress.  I usually try and keep the subject manner of these blogs separate.  However, something recently came up that touches upon all three.  PBS recently announced a series about America's favorite books/series.  In conjunction with this, the Kentucky network of PBS affiliates, Kentucky Educational Television (or KET) sent out information to independent book stores to tie into the series.  This included bookmarks as well as a list of the 100 books that people will vote on, with the winner announced this fall on the show.  As an English major, a book store owner, and an aspiring writer, I take some issue with the selection process by nameless experts with unknown criteria.  Just because a book is a 'favorite', does not equate with success or critical acclaim.  Take the Fifty Shades of Grey series.  While popular, other works have dealt with such erotic taboo topics better, especially when you consider that the series is based on fan-fiction of the vampire young-adult Twilight Saga, which is just a tad better and also on the list.  In fact, many such series are included.  The most extreme case being The Wheel of Time series.  If you are not up on this fourteen (yes, 14) book fantasy series, with a prequel and background information, think of it a PG-13 rated A Game of Thrones, but with more magic and a little less violence and way less gratuitous sex.  While I loved the series (it should be adapted for television), it isn't of the same literary quality as Thrones (also listed).  In fact, many of the books have been adapted for other media.  I feel that is why so many got onto this list, with a movie's or television show's popularity helping bolster a position.  Many of the books just don't seem to be popular enough to have actually be considered favorite by lots of people.  Take Crime and Punishment.  I cannot believe too many people actually liked this lengthy Russian novel, especially in translation.  Other long works, such as Atlas Shrugged, Don Quixote, and Moby Dick are also here.  I feel some people chose them just to seem more "in-the-know" as opposed to have actually read them.  Some of the books, like The Martian and Gone Girl, are just too recent to be considered cannon enough to know if they could become true favorites.  On the other hand, I feel that there are too many omissions.  While The Adventures of Tom Sawyer made the cut, the superior The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn did not.  Neither did The Sound and the Fury, one of the best books of the twentieth century.   Worst of all, two of the most important novels of the past century, Ulysses and A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, both by James Joyce, were skipped over.  Both are among my favorite books.   Sure, I read them as part of assignment back in college, but I still liked them.  Ulysses in particular has yet achieved all that it is due.  I could see it as a mini-series on HBO, with each chapter being the basis for a one-hour episode.  Sure, there would be a lack of female characters, but the final episode would be a tour de force for an actress.  Anyway, until I know more, I will not pass any judgements.   I just hope that something worthy takes the top spot.

An Uneventful Week of Events

This past Saturday was International Tabletop Game Day, a celebration of traditional board and card games, those that you can't play on an electronic device.  The local game store was offering an event that afternoon that I was interested in attending.  However, things did not go as planned.  I was late with lunch and well as someone who came in my store, Booknotes.  That was going to make me late for the start time.  Furthermore, I wanted to wait until after the mail arrived before I left.  The store has been having problems with mail delivery lately, and I wanted to make sure nothing was amiss, especially since the mail can arrive almost any time on any given day.  I waited for over an hour, but I never saw it arrive.  By that time, I had to worry about taking out the trash, as the garbage pickup can be fairly random as well.  As it was, it was barely ten minutes after I put it out that they cam by to pick it up.  Most days, they arrive around five or so.  I finally checked on the mail as well, only to discover that it had been delivered without me noticing it.  It was closing time, and I needed to do some grocery shopping, making me even later to attend the event.  For the past few weeks, the weekend shopping had been taking me only about twenty minutes or so.  This weekend, it took almost forty-five.  I still had to take some things back to the store first, passing the game shop on the way.  There weren't really any good parking spaces at that time.  After I had finished up at the store, it was almost five, the time when the main event was scheduled to end.  With a heavy heart, I decided not to try and go back to see what was happening.  I regretted it almost instantly, but it was too late to make any more changes to my schedule.  To top it all off, I saw an item on the evening news that Saturday was also Independent Book Store Appreciation Day.  I had totally forgotten about it.  I didn't plan or even announce anything to do for the day.  In all honesty, we wouldn't have been able to get any of the special goodies that were to be offered to hand out, since Booknotes is not part of a retailer association.  I don't even know if there is a book store group for the area.  Even if there were one, we really don't have the funds to cover fees.  We might not  even be open by this time next year.  Anyway, this coming Saturday is Free Comic Book Day at the same store, and this time, I plan to attend.   The available titles have already been  announced, and none of them really excite me.  Normally, there would be a preview of a big event.  This year, that title is coming out Wednesday instead and cost twenty-five cents.  Sneaky move and not really fair.  Still, I will have something to look forward to, and there is another event coming this summer that I think I will like even more.