I never had a microwave oven growing up. Our house was just too hot to have multiple electrical sockets in the kitchen. We barely hade one, and it was right by the main kitchen counter. There just wouldn't have been enough room for both an oven and kitchen prep. We did have a great conventional oven, though. Anyway, I didn't have a microwave until I opened my store in 2000. I didn't someway to cook meals there, usually frozen. The second thing I ever heated up there was a 'Three-Cheese Pizza' "Hot Pocket." Two actually, as I was still in my 20s and had high enough of a metabolism that it didn't matter that I ate that much. I was still trying to lift weights at least three times a week back then, so I had an extra benefit. Anyway, I was kind of hooked on them. At first, my picky eating habits limited the types of food I ate, but having them in 'pocket' form helped me to expand my options, slowly increasing the types of foods I had at the store. Particularly when it came to meats. I quickly began to expand the varieties I rotated on a weekly basis. I particularly liked the "Lean Pockets" line, while I mostly passed on the "Croissant Pockets." Those were just too fatty for me.
While I would try to not repeat a single flavor too often, I just kept going back to ones. I had favorites such as the aforementioned pizza, but also 'Chicken Parmesan,' 'Cheeseburger,' 'Cheddar Broccoli Chicken,' and 'Chicken Quesadilla.' One thing I didn't eat were the pork-based ones. I try not to eat pork for various reasons I won't go into. This meant that I had to skip anything with ham, bacon, pepperoni, and sausage. This included the 'Italian Meatball' variety. I would have loved to try it, but had to skip it because of the inclusion of pork. It pays to read the labels. This is how I found out the some of the 'chicken' in the pockets back then was actually turkey. That changed over the years, but it blew my mind when I first read it on the label. Such facts made me finally understand the infamous Jim Gaffigan sketch about "Pockets." (It was a few years after I started eating them before I saw the sketch.)
"Hot Pockets" would go on to introduce many other products, that I mostly ignored. There were the "Pot Pie Pockets," which didn't seem appetizing. There were "Fruit Pie Pockets," but they only came in apple and cherry, which aren't my favorites. Besides, I would more likely eat that such a thing at home, rather than at the store. (Yes, back then the packaging had instructions on how to fix them in an oven, but that took way too long comparatively speaking to warrant use at home.) Of course, there were the "Breakfast Pockets," which I couldn't have because of the pork and eggs. (I have a slight egg sensitivity at times.) That product would go on, when others didn't. "Hot Pockets" also experimented with other things. One was introducing pretzel bread for the pockets in some varieties. I tried some of them, and they did work at times. Even better was the introduction of 'Limited Edition' flavors. The best one, and best flavor ever, was the 'Steakhouse Mushroom,' which had Angus steak slices, portobello mushrooms, and a mozzarella cheese sauce. I would squeeze this one in as many times as I could when it was available.
Things changed around 2020 and the pandemic. Due to lockouts, I didn't get to eat at the store for months, and I still didn't have a microwave at my current place. (Plenty of outlets, very little counter space.) Once the store was reopened, and I needed lunches again, I began to notice something wrong. It didn't happen immediately, but the 'pockets' were missing. The entire "Lean Pocket" line was discontinued. So was the "Croissant Pocket" line, although some of those would re-emerge in the main line. Instead of having between twelve and fifteen varieties to rotate through with the rest of my frozen lunches from other brands, I was down to about five or six, and even that number began to shrink. A year or two ago, the final shoe dropped. Certain varieties were going exclusive it seemed, such as 'Beef Taco' and 'Barbecue Beef,' in boxes too big to fit in the store's mini-fridge. This left me with three: 'Four Cheese Pizza' (They somehow added another one over the years.), 'Philly Steak and Cheese' (My least favorite, by far.), and 'Steak and Cheddar.' That last one is weird, as I don't ever remember having it until quite recently. Maybe I had it a few times in the early years of my store, but I don't think it was anywhere around me for a time. Maybe it really did just debut in the last decade or so. Who knows?
Things got worse. They decided to remove the paper crisping sleeves, as a means to reduce waste. They said it would still taste the same. It doesn't. The pockets just don't get as crisp. They were offering a reusable plastic sleeve to eat it without burning your hands, but that just felt silly. Then, 'Steak and Cheddar' got exclusive as well, with new "bold" and "spicy" flavors that I didn't like taking over. I was starting to skip having pockets for a week, just so that I wouldn't have to take the same two flavors again and again. Next thing I knew, quite recently, "Hot Pockets" were disappearing from the shelves, with one store putting them on clearance. Somehow, I found a 'Steak and Cheddar' among them, for the first time in months. Of course, I bought it. Soon after, I discovered the reason why. Not only were the bolder, spicier flavors being phased out, so were the two-pack boxes. Now, they are only in four-packs, but none of my flavors are exclusive. In fact, the exclusive flavors are even being sold anymore, that I can tell. Now, I can barely eat my one-a-half pockets at times, (the other half goes to someone else, now) having to eat one flavor twice in a row is difficult. Worse, while the boxes fit in my mini-fridge freezer, there's barely room for other frozen meals. I sometimes have to take the pockets home and then bring them back to eat. Or even take them out of the box, just leaving them in the freezer. It has gotten very confusing. If it wasn't for my need for a wider variety of lunch options, I would stop getting them. Did I mention that some stores carry one packs of certain flavors? Only ones I don't like though. Like I said, confusing.
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