Eating My Cake and Having It Too

    I hate to say this, but my mom is a horrible cook.  When growing up, she would rarely use eggs in her baking.  This helped lead into very bad cakes, as well as a slight egg sensitivity in me.  I can usually stand eggs when incorporated and baked into other things, but having them by themselves, especially uncooked when baking, can cause problems.  Even today, with multiple egg substitutes available, I go to packaged baked goods or otherwise pre-made rather than baking on my own. (Two words can sum up the rest of my mom's cooking--boiled steak. To this day, I have an aversion to steak just because of this lone abomination in cooking.  It also led me to learn how to cook on my own, and I must say my style is much better than some of the things my mother has tried. At least in my own opinion.) As such, I have tried many a cake, only to have them vanish from the shelves.  Sometimes, they come back in a different form.  Here are some of my favorites from over the years and what has taken their places. First comes Deluxe Zingers, originally from Dolly Madison, a subsidiary division of Hostess.  These were cakes with a layer of creme filling between two layers, topped with more of a frosting situation and sprinkles.  It could have been a fondant, but I can't be sure.  They came in multiple flavors, but I pretty much stuck to chocolate. Unfortunately, Dolly Madison went out of business with all the other divisions when Hostess shut down. It never came back.  Today, all I'm stuck with are regular Zingers, creme-filled rectangular cakes with a layer of fondant on top.  They come in chocolate, vanilla, and the horror known as raspberry with coconut.  How? How?  Next, also from Hostess, is the Chocodile.  Basically, this was a chocolate-coated Twinkie.  I preferred the special limited-edition 'Banana Split' flavor.  This was more of a Zinger-shaped rectangular cake with a banana-flavored creme filling, topped with a layer of strawberry 'jelly,' and then enrobed in a chocolate coating. These have yet to come back, although banana Twinkies are still around. I've tried a similar product from a Mexico based bakery, but there are many differences.  First, the cake has a layer of standard creme over most of the top, just missing one end.  Then, it has a layer of pineapple jelly on top of that, dyed red.  Finally, the entire thing is coated in chocolate and sprinkled with miniature chocolate chips.  While the chips were a nice touch, the rest of it didn't live up to the original. This brings us to Tastykake Chocolate Bells.  They were a simple concept.  Just a creme-filled chocolate cupcake, turned upside-down, and enrobed in chocolate. Nothing else.  They were sort of like a Ding Dong, but I loved them to no end compared to the Hostess product.  Unfortunately, they were never around on a steady basis and are no longer being made.  Another company has recently come out with two different takes on the product to mixed results.  First is a triple-chocolate version with chocolate cake, a chocolate-creme filling, and a striped chocolate coating.  The filling tends to blend into the cake, and coating is a little thin.  There is also a cookies-n-creme version with a chocolate-chip studded golden cake, chocolate creme filling, and a white coating with chocolate stripes.  An interesting combination, but I feel that it is just a tad off somehow.  Next comes a product whose current version might just be better, jelly swirls.  Basically, a jelly swirl is a honey bun, but with the cinnamon replaced with a fruit filling.  If there is any cinnamon in these, I couldn't taste it. The original company went out of business years ago, but another one still makes them as part of their fairly wide honey bun selection. However, their swirls have a thicker drizzle of icing and bigger dollops of jelly between the cake swirls.  I am a little put off by the lack of a fruit listed in the ingredients.  I remember the original ones listing boysenberry as the main fruit, but the current ones don't have a single fruit on the list.  So what is the jelly made of?  Scary.  Finally there is my most favorite treat of all, the banana flip.  These were circles of yellow cake with a lightly flavored banana filling and folded over partially like a taco.  My favorite brand used a firmer filling than others, that got especially hard when refrigerated. I loved these.  Unfortunately, the company went out of business before being brought back as part of a store-brand.  While many products came back, these weren't one of them.  I tried other brands, but they weren't the same.  The cake bottom was always too brown. The cake broke completely upon folding instead of just starting to crack.  The filling was a standard creme with barely any banana flavor that wouldn't harden up in the refrigerator. These too were phased out.  Now, there might be one company that still bakes these.  I may have seen them years ago, out of town, but I don't remember trying one.  I think it was because if I liked it, I didn't want to face the fact that I might never have the chance to try it again.  I'm not even sure if the company still has them, after I did a brief internet search on them.  At least I have some products still out there, just not the best ones.