I woke up just before 1:30 am one night last week, and I had trouble falling back asleep. I had an earworm stuck in my head. This actually happens to me quite regularly. Sometimes it is one overwhelming idea, but this time it was a song. Specifically, "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter, written by Carpenter, J. Bunetta, A. Allen, and S. N. Jones. I tried everything to get my mind off the song, but it kept creeping back in. I ultimately had to use a technique an old buddy once suggested to me in high school. Doesn't always work, but I did fall back asleep by 2:30. Anyway, I decided to write a song about it. Okay, I embraced my inner "Weird Al" Yankovic and wrote a parody song about it. I've tried doing this before, on other songs that I both either like or can't stand, but I rarely finish them. I usually give up after coming up with a cool chorus or a few choice lyrics. This time, I decided to go all the way. The second verse was the easiest to come up, followed by the bridge and chorus. The first verse, specifically the ends for the first two lines kept tripping me up. I had to find a way to end them with a two syllable beat whereas all my favorite choices were just one syllable. I still feel like that couplet is a little off. Note that I alternate some of the words while repeating the bridge and chorus, as the multiple suggestions work better than just using the same thing. I also feel that my version has a better plot line than the original. Basically, a guy who hates coffee comes up with a drink so caffeinated that one needs immediate medical attention after drinking it. (Octuple means eightfold in case anyone is wondering.) Parody is a bit of a grey area, so that is just one reason why I am only posting the lyrics as opposed to singing it. Another is that my singing voice isn't the best, at least not at the moment. So, without further adieu, may I present "Octuple Espresso."
OCTUPLE ESPRESSO
Now he's clutching his head
Like his brain's about to explode
Will he survive? I don't know
Octuple Espresso
Bobbing up and down, left and right
Just like a yoyo
Will he survive? I don't know
Octuple Espresso
I can't stand coffee
I don't like the taste
But I can't let all that caffeine
Just go to waste
I've got this one thought
Rattling in my noggin
For a drink, coffee snobs won't stop hoggin'
One shot just won't do for ya
Two shots, like Mountain Dew for ya
Three shots just go right through ya
[Flushing noises] (More)
Four, five shots won't thrill ya (More)
Six shots won't even fill ya (More)
Seven shots just might kill ya
Now you're, clutching your chest
Like your heart is about to explode
Will you survive? I don't know
Octuple Espresso
Shaking up and down, left and right
Just like a yoyo
Will you survive? I don't know
Octuple Espresso
Care for a Sweet 'N' Low?
I'm working late, as a barista
Next guy in line, looks like Dave Bautista
He sees the special,
And he's gotta try it
Just sign this waiver
Before you buy it
One shot just won't do for ya
Two shots, like Mountain Dew for ya
Three shots just go right through ya
[Flushing noises] (More!)
Four, five shots won't thrill ya (More!)
Six shots cannot fill ya (More!)
Seven shots just might kill ya. (Dial 911!)
Now he's, clutching his head
Like his brain's gonna explode
Will he survive? I don't know
Octuple Espresso
Bobbing up and down, left and right
Just like a yoyo
Will he survive? I don't know
Octuple Espresso
He's clutching his chest (More!)
Like his heart might explode (More!)
Will he survive? I don't know
Octuple Espresso
Shaking up and down, left and right (More!)
Just like a yoyo (More!!)
Will he survive? I don't know
Octuple Espresso
Is he gonna die? I think so
From Octuple Espresso
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