I'm Getting Nuttin for Christmas, and I'm Fine with That

    Well, my mom gave me a cold this past weekend, but that doesn't count.  Anyway, since there is only my mother in my life right now, I don't really have anyone to buy presents for.  My mother always says she's not expecting anything, and I really don't need anything.  No matter how much she protests.  Sure, getting stuff is always fun, but I preferred things a lot more when I was a kid.  It was my job to try and figure out what all of my gifts were, without leaving any signs that I did so.  Even better was when I would search for my gifts before they were wrapped.  I would even play with them a little beforehand, if I could make sure I would leave no traces of tampering.  That's how a got to play the first few levels of Super Mario World when I got my SNES. (For those who aren't familiar with the timeline, yes, I was in college at the time.  Some habits run deep.) As I got older, I was getting fewer presents, and I was getting harder to shop for. Even when I told my mom exactly what I wanted for Christmas, or even my birthday a month later, she would sometimes mess things up and get me the wrong thing.  She would think of something totally out-of-place for me and believe it was exactly what I needed.  Yes, I would get a little mean and tell her off, a really bad habit of mine when I don't get what I expected/wanted.  But seriously.  When you mark a catalog multiple ways and someone still manages to order the wrong thing, it gets tiring. What might be worse though is when I give a perfect gift and it isn't appreciated. I have developed the weird talent of extrapolating someone's personality from the smallest of details.  It is not infallible, but it can lead to some keen insights.  I don't like doing to much, as it is a skill that can be used for evil.  I can come up with the most thorough comeback that could ruin a person, and be perfectly distanced from any repercussions without any emotion at all.  It can be devastating, so I try not to so.  However, this skill can also be used to come up with the perfect gift for any occasion.  Back in the 90s, during a regular monthly outing from my self-imposed sulking, I drove well out of the way and found a great gift for my mom, a bonnet-style hair dryer.  She had wanted one for years, after her old one broke down.  She hated handheld dryers, but that was all she could find.  Well, I managed to find one, and bought it for her, along with a CD that had a song she really liked by a singer she didn't always care for.  I managed to hide it in my car trunk until I could bring it inside and wrap it.  She didn't even immediately realize there was an extra box under the tree.  She was amazed when she got to open it up, but that was it.  She said she liked it, but she would barely use it.  I'm guessing she thought it took too much time to waste it by just sitting there while it was running. [I rarely use hair dryers.  I have very sensitive hair as well as skin, and so much heat could cause problems.  As I usually keep my hair fairly short, it doesn't take that much time to air-dry anyway.  I haven't had to use a dryer in years.] I don't remember her using it for months before it was lost in the 2003 flood.  It hurt that I picked out a gift that was almost never used, even if was enjoyed.  So, no Christmas gifts again this year.  Although, I did get myself something.  I would mention it now, but I don't want to my surprise to myself.  Next week, then, and Merry Christmas.