Late for the Party Again, If I Even Was Invited

    There is a term called "fear of missing out."  However, if one has already missed out on something, how can they then also fear it?  I've missed out on so many things, I can't really fall into this type of situation.  Take this example.  I've really enjoying a certain YouTube channel for a few months now, after discovering their rebroadcast on Facebook, albeit in a shortened, edited format.  When I finally saw the episodes in their original format and freshly posted, I was amazed by how innovative they were.  Sure, many of the episodes were way longer than I cared for and some of the content just wasn't my thing, but I still loved the fact that I could see them as they were intended.  Well, this past Monday, I found out that the channel was once one of YouTube's biggest subscription stars!   Years and years ago when the service first started.  Here I thought I was discovering something that was just getting ready to hit it big, when I really was just very late on the bandwagon.  I kind of knew that they had been around for awhile, but it wasn't until this week that I realized just how far behind on the trend I was.  Even if I had known about the channel when I got my MacBook five years ago (the anniversary is next week), I still would have been behind on the trend.  I used to consider myself as someone who could get ahead of a trend before it even others started to think it up, but this skill has fallen into disuse, as this latest revelation has proven.  At least I can take some consolation by believing that this stand-up comedian I follow on Facebook is a sure thing.  I might not have been among the first to notice him, but I have been an early supporter.  I really feel that this guy might be onto bigger things, even if I don't exactly line up with his views all of the time.  Still, I do feel that I have missed out on so many opportunities in my life for one reason or another.  With May and June bringing the anniversary of so many events that are  important to me, this desire to experience such things just grows.  For the last few weeks, I have been working on something to help me out with this, but I just keep putting off finishing it.  I currently plan to finish it soon, in time to start it next week.  I'm just afraid that I will mess it up like I have done with many other opportunities in my life.  It just feels so manipulative to ask for what I want, but I just don't want to miss out on anything else.  I just need to ask the right person/people for help, and then find a way to let them know what I need in a way that feels natural but not too out of place.  I just hope I will get invited this time, and that I go through with it.