I Better Work

I am currently looking for a new job, technically. There is a really good chance that I will be out of work in a few weeks.  Considering that I am self-employed, you can take a guess at what that will mean.  The problem is that I never really figured out what I would like to do for a living.  I am going back to graduate school to get my Masters, but most of the things I think I would like to do, I would need the degree first.  I am at least a year away, possibly more.  So, I am hoping to find something else to do in the interim.  I just don't know what that would be.  You see, I did have some sort of plan growing up about what I would want to do for a living.  Unfortunately, I never got to pursue any of my dreams due to reasons I have gone over in previous posts.  There was actually a chance I could have become some sort of chemical engineer, or something similar, if I had just been able to take the right class when I started college, instead of trusting my advisor to take what turned out to be a remedial class that I didn't need.  I was seriously thinking about going into journalism (by the way, while the consensus believes blogging to be a form of journalism, I do not), but I would up going to the one school in the state that had absolutely no outlet, program, or even a newspaper, at least during my time there.  I got a practically generic English degree, and it didn't even focus on the creative writing aspects that I love the most.  My one short-term job turned out to be a nightmare, one that I will not go into again here.  Sadly to say, it left me turned off for office and government work, pretty much the only outlets that people were considering me for.  That is my paradoxical problem.  I have a very logical brain.  I am great at puzzles and games.  It is the main theme of this blog after all.  Yet, I have the should of an artist.  I need to create and perform.  I just never was able to get the opportunities needed to craft these talents or show others what I could do with them.  Some would think I would have in law or medicine.  I might have the brains for such fields, but I never had the interest.  They just don't excite me in the ways that more creative fields do.  Sometimes, I feel that the universe is pushing me into government, an elected official.  I happen to know that I probably would be good at it, except for my shortcomings,  Unless I had the proper team of people around me, I would become a milquetoast who would follow along party lines just to get a crumb of my ideas through to help my constituents.  Or I would become an autocrat, a sort of beneficent dictator forcing my agenda through whether anyone liked it or not.  There's too much danger either way, so I wisely remove myself from such ventures.  I write.  That much I know I can do.  I just wish I could have tried my luck at acting or music.  There is a deep kneed in my heart that suggests that I could have been good at either.  I have a talent for art and design, one that I almost could pursue.  Almost, I doubt I could be great at either, even thought the natural talent is there.  I write, and that is it.  I read. I play games and work puzzles.  But I can't do anything, at this time, that I can make a living off of.  I write.  But does anyone read it?