As I mentioned in a previous post, I lost much of my portfolio due to a flood in 2003. While much of it was weak, in my opinion, one particular piece, I felt, had much merit. It was a poem of seven or so cantos, (or groups of stanzas, I am not sure of the exact term to use) and I still consider it to be one of my best works. Lately, I have been trying to rewrite it. Here is my first attempts. The cadence and overall themes are the same, as are quite a few word choices. The final wording and stanza order are still being worked out. One thing I don't have is a new title, as I have long since forgotten the original one from 1992. Otherwise, it is familiar to the original. Here are the first few stanzas. I hope you like it.
[I have since come up with a proposed title. "Love-Struck Somewhere between the Sun and the Moon". I think it fits]
I. There is no sun or moon when I'm without you,
My life just seems to pause.
Time loses all of its meaning
And your love is the cause.
Each second stretches onward, ever outward
Into infinity.
The wait is so agonizing
'Til you return to me.
II. How dare the sun and moon try to outshine you
With their obnoxious light.
I would gladly sacrifice them
And live in endless night.
Your beauty glows eternal, everlasting.
Its warmth keeps me alive.
As long as you are beside me,
I know I will survive.
III. I'd gift you the sun and moon, if I could;
It would be a pleasure.
Yet your true love is worth far more,
Precious beyond measure.
Not silver, nor gold, or even diamond gem
Can equal your pure heart.
No one could afford to buy you,
A unique work of art.
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