I Wanted to Have Some Fun

In a recent post, I mentioned that I had a hard time getting along with the other guys in school due to my inadequacies at sports.  That didn't mean that I didn't join in on physical activities, though.  I occasionally did, and this is the anniversary of two of those times where I had the most fun.  I just wish there had been more of them.  The first time is from 1987, the last day of school.  I was in band and had to be there for graduation practice.  Mid-morning, I saw some of the older band members running into one of the buildings.  Recklessly, I decided to follow them.  They had gotten into some mischief and were now kind of hiding out.  After one of them left (he never returned that day),I hung out with the other two.  We helped out setting up the gym for the ceremony and joined in with the rest of the band later on for the practice.  Afterwards, the band was supposed to have an event to celebrate the end of the school year, but it was just the three of us who did so.   Although we almost did something else, we had a water gun fight across campus.  We even went into some of the buildings!  The water guns were weak and we actually got wetter from the light rain instead of from them.  I developed a rapport with one of those juniors.  For some reason, I could more easily talk to him than to my peers.  I would come to think of him as the role-model/big brother that I needed at the time.  things turned a little awkward by the end of his senior year.  While I would see him a few time after he graduated, I never got to tell him how much he meant to me.  The second time came in 1990, again at the end of school.  We had just finished graduation practice, when I heard a friend plan to play some basketball.  I asked if I could join in. I was too embarrassed to have friends come over to my house, and they lived too far away to be allowed to go there, even if I had been invited.  The only reason I could go then was because no one knew I was going.  He drove us to his home, and we played some after some other guys arrived.  I sucked, and being four to five inches shorter then them didn't help.  It was warm, and we stopped to go swimming at a neighbor's pool.  My friend even gave me a pair of shorts to wear as mine dried out.  A few more guys came by to play video games, but I had to leave.  I got a ride from another friend, and he dropped me off.  This gave me a chance to give both friends letters that included ways to contact me, since they were the two I most wanted to stay in touch with.  While I saw the second from at community college before he transferred a year early, neither one contacted me, because they forgot or lost their letters.  I guess I should have trier harder and sooner to tell them how much they meant to me.  I still regret not staying in touch with the three of them and wonder what could've been.  Even though it had been over twenty-five years since I last saw them, sometimes it feels like only one or two.  Still, better late then never.  Thank you for letting me feel like one of the guys, even when I felt like an outsider.  Thank you for letting me be myself, free of my hang-ups and insecurities.  Finally, even though I know it wasn't exactly reciprocal, thank you for being three of my best friends.  And you still are, even after all of this time and distance between us.  It is time to have some more fun.

Hey Adriana

I started blogging about a year ago as part of my store's, Booknotes book store of Pikeville, Kentucky, website.  After a few months, I realized I wanted write about some things not book store related, so I started this blog.  Since then, I have tried to keep the subjects separate.  This week I cross a line, or at least blur it a little.  Best-selling author Adriana Trigiani will be appearing at Booknotes on Sunday, July 30, from 3:00 to 5:00 pm, possibly to 6:00 pm.  This will be her only scheduled appearance in Kentucky in support of her new novel Kiss Carlo, due out June 20.  The last time Adriana came to our store, in 2006, we sold out of all of her books and had to order more in the following weeks to fulfill all of the orders.  Adriana sent our personalized book plate labels for people to apply in their books afterwards.  This time around, especially since we will be having a greater reach in media coverage and the only event in the region, we might be having an even bigger turn out.  Her last visit was the single best day the store has ever had.  While Kiss Carlo and other titles will be available at the store for the signing, we highly encourage customers to pre-order the titles they want to ensure they get them.  Orders can be placed either in store or over the phone.  Once Kiss Carlo comes out, limited numbers of it and a selection of her backlist might be available for purchase on the store's website, probably via PayPal or other means.  However, my financial and technical skills might not be up to the challenge, so plan accordingly.  This event could be a make-or-break moment for the store. Adriana's last visit had people come as far away as Richmond, Kentucky to Richmond, Virginia.  This time around, we might be able to score other major authors to show up as well, if we do even half a well as last time.  There have been a few well-know authors to show up, most notably Robert Morgan multiple times, but not as many as expected.  I know that this is blatant self-promotion posting all of this here, and not just on the store's blog page, but I need all the free publicity I can get before the big roll out starts next week.  I am hoping I haven't been too off-topic this week, but this signing has been on my mind a lot lately.  The initial book orders are about to go out, and I need a rough estimate of how many to order.  These first forays were therefore necessary to get an accurate picture of what might happen.  My next few blogs here will not be as store related, I promise you that.  So, good-bye until next week.

I Could Have Been a Contender

This past weekend, I was wearing some old clothes around the house that I used to wear from high school.  They were still in fairly good shape, but the pants were way too loose on me.  Back then, I was a 36 waist going towards a 37 or 38.  Now, I am about a 34 waist, a loose 34 at times at that.  Even many of my current pants are a little too big on me, and some of my dress shirts are now too tight along the shoulders to properly button the top button.  I owe it all to the exercise program, mostly weightlifting, that I started back in the late 1990's when I was anxious about my health.  While I would have liked to become big and buff, with my picky eating habits, erratic schedule, and fluctuating metabolism, I am happy to settle with being functionally strong, relatively fit, and having a chest slightly bigger than my stomach (the occasional vein popping out when I flex a muscle in the right way is fun too).  But, it got me to thinking awhile back.  I had the skills to become a jock in high school.  In fact, if they had instituted a track and field team just a few years sooner, I would have tried out for it and I think I could have made it.  I would have been a long distance runner, possibly a few throwing disciplines as well.  Even today, I will run at inopportune times just so I can feel the soothing wind rush across my face.  If it had started in my freshman/sophomore years in fact, I would like to think that my teammates would have asked me to try out for other sports as well, if I proved capable enough.  Almost definitely baseball, as the skill sets and players would have had the most overlap.  Baseball was always my most favorite team sport.  I would have even gotten over my dislike of contact lens to have played better.  Possibly football in my senior year, although I hate physical contact.  My lack of strength and size would've limited my positions, so I would have been stuck on the sidelines a lot.  Definitely not basketball though.  At barely 5' 9", with about a quarter inch of that occurring after graduation, I lacked the height for it.  Still, someone might have tried to drill me endlessly, just so my skills would be good enough to try out for B team.  Anyway, I don't really regret not joining in.  I never had the opportunity as a kid to learn about sports that much.  I didn't live near enough to any friends to practice skills outside of school.  I always felt a little outside from the rest of the guys in physical activities due to my lack of skills back then.  To be honest, I don't really have a competitive side; I am more cooperative in nature.  I can also be a sore loser, and winner.  The kicker though, I keep seeing all of these pictures of former athletes, not just from my high school, but everywhere, and so many of them are now sporting, what do you call it, "dad bods."  Then there's me, the once slightly overweight nerd form high school, who is now the one who is somewhat fit and athletic, and I can't help but to silently gloat.  I guess that is one benefit to being single.  Now, after revealing this, someone will dare me to prove it.  I am still way too self-conscious to post a shirtless photo of myself, at this time.  Maybe sooner than later, or not.  We will just have to wait and see.

Broken and Busted Stuff

It was 1996, a week or so after my birthday.  I was reading the newspaper and saw the wedding announcement of someone I used to know.  The actual event took place three months earlier or so,  out-of-state, but it only was printed then.  It triggered something in me, a panic attack.  All the frustrations of going to a school I didn't like, twice missing deadlines for grad school, not finding a job in my chosen field six months after leaving my last one, never going anywhere or doing anything, never figuring out the social or dating scene, and worst of all, losing contact with everyone I ever knew, even those I considered my closest friends.  I could barely talk for the rest of the day and part of the next.  I'm amazed I could even drive.  I felt alone and forgotten, a failure.  My spirit broke.  The world had given up on me, so I gave up on the world.  Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a complete shut-in; I spent at least one day a week outside of home, but I barely did anything.  I tried to apply for newspaper jobs, but I lost interest in the field and gave up after a year or two.  Graduate school requirements changed and I ultimately forgot to try to apply again.  I was limited to about a thirty mile radius from home for driving and never at night, so I had no social life or opportunity to date.  Even if I hadn't, I wouldn't have known where to go or what to do once I got there, not without someone's help.  I didn't even go to local weddings of people I knew, even to one of my friends I felt closest to.  I can't remember if knew beforehand or not, only that it was open invitation and I felt too proud not to be personally invited, although it was really because I felt too ashamed to be seen as a failure.  That still bugs me because it would have freed me from my dull existence so much sooner and make me happy.  I even tried to write letters to some friends, even though I knew they would probably never receive them since I had no way to send them..  At least it eased my mind.  This went on for four years, until I was forced to open my book store, Booknotes, because my mother couldn't stand me being a slacker bum any longer.  It was only supposed to be a stopgap until I found something better, but it has become a crutch that keeps me from moving on.  I basically want to become a professional writer, I guess, but I need some other career for support before I can try for it.  That is one reason I want to go back to school, to help find my way.  The obstacles are even harder for applying than they were then; that is why I have alternate plans set up for different fields, schools, and even degrees.  It still looks hard.  I can't have the store closed for more than one extra day a week, so I can't go anywhere for longer than half a day and even that seems rushed.  With an hour commute every night, I don't really have the time or energy for any sort of social life.  I am still uncomfortable around groups of strangers, sometimes, especially in unfamiliar settings, at least without support.  Technically, my only real social life is with my two or three online sessions a week with social media, and even that hasn't turned out quite the way I thought it would.  It is helping me feel connected again, but that is a topic for another post.

The Real Power of Friendship

About three months ago, I wrote a post, in a kind of joking manner, about combining two things that didn't really go together too well.  That fact is I really didn't believe that the two things did work together, at all.  Turns out, I was wrong or I had a premonition of some sort because it has happened.  A game company is coming out with a role-playing game based on My Little Pony:  Friendship Is Magic!  I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the solicitation for it last week.  My Little Pony:  Tails of Equestria will be a full color hardcover rulebook, allowing people to play as any type of pony they like, perhaps even one of the Mane 6.  Strangely enough, it will not be made by Hasbro or their sub-division Wizards of the Coast, which publishes Dungeons & Dragons.  Although it is being marketed for ages 8+, at a price of $34.95 for a 152 page book, I feel that this product is more aimed at the "brony" market.  For those who don't know, a "brony" is a male fan of My Little Pony, and not just boys or teens, but adult men and not just dads either.  While I am somewhat of a fan, I do not consider myself one.  Mostly, I just watch the television show (by the way, is it just me or does the current season seem to be focusing on the supporting cast too much) and not involve myself with the toys or other merchandise.  Still, the prospect of playing a pony might be intriguing, in a bizarre sort of way.  Mostly, I would be a Twilight Sparkle type; studious and organized, yet withdrawn at times and prone to obsession.  I also have a fondness towards Fluttershy (kind, timid, rabbit-oriented) and Rarity (generous, creative, high-class).  While I do have a wicked sense of humor (Pinkie Pie) and a strong leaning towards honesty (Applejack), I don't really have a grasp on those two.  Strangely enough, my least favorite pony is Rainbow Dash, even though I am loyal to my friends even after if they are no longer around and reckless at times to the point of not getting anything done.  I think it might be because she is my least favorite shade of blue.  If she were a tad darker color, maybe I would like her better.  Still, I am not sure I would be willing to spend that much for a book when similar products are a little less expensive for the same number of pages.  This doesn't even include the first supplement pack, which will include an adventure pack, a screen, six dice, and character sheets; it will cost $24.95.  I probably will look at it when it comes out this summer, but I don't think I will buy it.  Or I could change my mind.  Ponies and role-playing really do go together; an episode from last season proved it.  I wonder if they knew what was going to happen when it was made.